Thursday, July 28, 2005


Melbourne Trashed.

Melbournians were deeply insulted this morning, when flicking though their copy of Rupert’s Organ of Freedom to find that the much ballyhooed “National Newspaper”, had decided to stick the boot in to their fair city.

Opinion writer and apparent Queensland centric, but New South Wales resident historian Ross Fitzgerald has slammed Melbourne, comparing it to Adelaide, Perth and Brisbane, and implying its not a patch on Sydney. Australia’s international city.

He cites Travel and Leisure magazine as naming Sydney the world’s best city. A New York based magazine my friends, that’s right, how would they know, they don’t even live here.

Mr Fitzgerald goes to great lengths to provide evidence of Sydney’s pre-eminence, but did he consider the hook turn in his assessment? No. Did he consider that we have Andrew Bolt and they don’t?, No. Did he consider that future Prime Minister Bill Shorten comes from Melbourne? No. Did he consider that our forthcoming Commonwealth Games are going to be the most expensive ever? No. Did he consider that only Melbourne has fantastic gangland murder stories to tell? No.

It’s a weasley blinkered effort by Mr Fitzgerald, and his strong affinity with Queensland while writing this glowing report on Sydney stinks to high heaven. There’s a conspiracy here that clearly stretches all the way to New York, and the jealous and cynical assaults on Melbourne don’t stop there. The Footy finals might even go interstate, not that I’ll be watching mind you, but its important to know that they’re there, the crowd roaring in the distance while you attend to your home brewing.

There’s a conspiracy afoot, and Mr. Bracks needs to get to the bottom of it, otherwise I’ll be forced to vote for Mr. Costello. A Melbourne boy who’s sure to set things right.

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