Friday, April 15, 2005


No more lies. I promise : Howard

Prime Minster John Howard today has ruled out lying to the Australian people again.

After today’s shock announcement by the PM, where he recants on an election promise not to slash the Medicare Safety Net, and which Age columnist Michelle Grattan described as “treating the voters with total disdain”, the PM has gone out of his way to assure the Australian public it won’t happen again.

“Look, I didn’t want to lie”, said the Prime Minister, “but we sat around the Cabinet table, Mr Abbott and Mr Costello and the rest, and we felt it would be, all things considered, better if we did”

When asked to explain in an interview with a report on the ABC he went on, “What we are concerned about is the Australian National interest. Now at the time we made the promise. The iron-clad guarantee, we were coming up to an election, and it was in Australia’s national interest that we won that election. Therefore we made the difficult decision to simply lie to the Australian people”

When pressed on this point Mr Howard became a little agitated raising his voice. “Look Fran, It happens all the time. We’ve lied to the Australian people before on security matters. The Australian people know this. They know we do it in their best interest. They know that we can’t be telegraphing our moves publicly to the terrorists, and so they expect us to lie to them for their own good”

Fran: “and that justifies lying in this case Mr Howard?”

PM : “This is also a matter of security. The security of the Government’s majority. The Australian people understand this. The chardonnay elite can complain, and they will, but the Australian people understand the truth of what I’m saying”

Fran: “ So do you intend to lie to the people again in the future?”

PM: . “Listen. It’s most offensive of you to suggest that because we lied in the past, that we’ll be lying again. I can give the Australian people this assurance that we won’t”

Fran: “Be lying again?”

PM: “Certainly”

Fran: “Mr Howard will you rule out lying again to the Australian people”

PM: “Fran I give this iron clad undertaking to the Australian people that subject to unknowable vicissitudes in the government’s interpretation of what constitutes Australia’s National Interest, and the obvious desirability of ensuring that no commitments are open ended, and therefore open to abuse by other parties who do not share our commitment to Australia’s National interest, I give that clear undertaking yes”

Fran: Thank Prime Minister. We’re out of time”

PM: Thankyou Fran.

Note: 3000 character limit on comments
Superceded Blogger based Comments below:
Fran: Mr Howard, will you lie to the Australian people again?
JWH: Certainly not.
Fran: Are you lying right now?
JWH: No.
Fran: What about then?
JWH: I would never lie!
Fran: Surely that last one was a complete porky?
JWH: No it wasn't.
Fran: To help me out, could you sort of lean backwards when you're telling the truth, and lean forwards when you're lying?
JWH: I don't need to do that, because I'm "Honest John". I'd never lie to you.
Fran (head explodes).
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