Rex in the City

Once again, we see this great state of Victoria, led by its mighty capital city lead the way in new and exiting ideas.

Fascinating recent developments in the formally moribund business of funeral arrangements have put Melbourne and Victoria once again at the cutting edge.

Yesterday planning minister Rob Hulls announced an experimental burial plot in the Western District where the lucky recipients of this new opportunity will be buried in a vertical position.

Apparently holes are drilled into the ground and then the frozen bodies placed into the hole before it is covered up. We assume that the bodies are placed feet first, and this lack of clarity is probably why some in the funeral industry are arguing that it's disrespectful of the dead.

Of course efficiency is what this is all about, and efficiency, no doubt, is what is on the minds of Palacom., the operators of the new cemetery. We’re hope therefore that they will be considering using one of these:



A tractor mounted pile driver with its own drill.

Combining innovative technology with funeral innovation is the way to go, and with a device like this. The hole can be drilled and the cadaver “pile-driven” into the earth, while the family looks on in awe and wonder and the beautiful efficiency of it all. Finally there will be no more need to linger embarrassingly by the grave side, shuffling your feet, while the soil is shovelled on so irritatingly slowly, knowing that there's a good sponge cake going begging and the tea is getting cold back at Aunties.

Victoria. As always. On the Move!