Wednesday, April 13, 2005


Health of Health System under threat.

The Treasurer Mr. Costello is worried, and rightly so. According to Australia’s most popular newspaper The Herald Sun, Mr Costello has issued a blunt warning that we need to protect the health system against an ageing population. Apparently there’s a growing cohort of barking mad grey haired anarchist who are intent on destroying the Health System as we know it today.

The Health system is a beautiful thing. Australians love it. They vote for politicians who’ll protect and nurture it, and woe betide anyone who wants to fiddle with it too much. Witness Mark Latham. Our politicians know this and so anything that poses a threat to it, like old people, well they just have to go.

Why he just singles out the old folk though is beyond me. By far the biggest threat to the Health System is the sick. It’s a statistically proven fact. It is that government tolerates these losers, these bludgers on the system, that is at the real heart of the problem. Go ask any right wing think tank. They’ll confirm this.

Private Health Insurance is of course the solution. This culture of illness that we’ve allowed to fester for so long will be rendered germ free by the application of the searing blowtorch of free enterprise.

Sick people will be so busily engaged comparing and contrasting the relative value of the myriad of different policies on offer, discussing them excitedly amongst themselves, participating, that they won’t have time for sickness. It’s called the health dividend of the free market, and I can prove it works, and so can Andrew Bolt.

If we want our Health System to remain in tip-top shape then we’ve got to act now before the malevolent armies of the ill, who are already laying siege to it, leave it a smoking ruin.
Mr. Costello is on the right track though. Singling out the aged first. The old principle of divide and conquer. After that the sick, then the poor, until finally we achieve the pure essence of the Australian Health System. Fully contained in 3 lever-arch ring binders of double spaced A4 pages, sitting proudly on the bookshelf in the Treasurer’s office. Amen.

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