Monday, March 07, 2005


We need more 16 year old mums: Howard

Hot on the heals of his announcment today that kids ought to drop out of school early and take up chimney sweeping, Prime Minister John Howard has also annouced that he'd like to see the girls up-the-duff by 16.

"We've got some serious social imbalaces we're trying to address, and we need to look at some serious changes to society to adapt to the new situations", said the Prime Minister.

In a comprehensive policy statement released today entitled "Oliver Twist", the Prime Minister outlined the logic behind the goverments thinking:

"Its quite simple you see. We don't have enough people doing the hard dirty work because they're too educated, and don't want to. So our solution is to create a group of people who aren't so educated and don't know any better.

We've got a problem of an ageing population. The Solution? Get girls pregnant early and often.

We've become uncompetitive against Asian labour: Dismantle the IR system so that workers get paid less.

We anticipate an increase in crime, so we're going to re-introduce capital punishment, and we'll be putting the extra prisoners on floating barges in our bays and rivers until we can find someplace to send them.

We're going to create opportunity by re-enstating and formally enshrining the class system into leglislation. It'll be great, trust me."

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