Rex in the City

Melbourne's The Age, newspaper, known quaintly as "the Stumbler" around certain putrid waterholes, has it seems, been picking up a head of steam of late.

Here's the potted summary:

• The Age - readership UP
  
• The Herald Sun - readership Down
  

Sunday Age editor Alan Oakley puts this down to the quality, all-round package of news, analysis and entertainment, rather that the diet of trivia, giveaways and tedious sensationalism offered by the Herald Sun.

We here at the City stand ready to do our patriotic duty to assist the Herald Sun in this vital battle against the latte left, and we offer our advice free of charge to the embattled Herald Sun editors.

Tits and Terror my friends, Tits and Terror that's what we need more of in this here Melbourne town. It's what the public are crying out for, and its what we know that the good community minded helmsmen at the Herald Sun can deliver once they put their minds to it.